Walks on the not so wild side, happy children, trying to keep it together and a thought for the day…..

Thought for the day:-

We live in a world in which we need to share responsibility. It’s easy to say “It’s not my child, not my community, not my world, not my problem.” Then there are those who see the need and respond. I consider those people my heroes. Fred Rogers, television host, song writer, and author (1928 – 2003)

I cannot seem to get back on track with my life after the Camino. Coming home is still the hardest part of that long and often very difficult walk. The home we lived in is just a house now. I play music, but it only serves to remind me that I’m the only one listening, I try to read, but my mind won’t absorb the words, I try to paint but it’s as if every bit of talent has deserted me……

I have walked here in Norfolk since I got home, mainly to the surrounding villages. The walking does help, but it’s as if here in my native countryside my thoughts are no longer my own. The weather is lovely and I am in the very enviable position of being able to walk out of my door with my dog and roam at will. Apart from the little dog I have no responsibilities…….

The walk to Snettisham……

The walk begins through our own beautiful and wild woods ……..

Then onto a neighbouring estate……

This walk is very similar to parts of the Camino with wide dirt tracks and ….

Narrow footpaths…….

And the wild flowers do gladden my heart….

And there are certainly churches to equal anything on the Camino……

Snettisham Church….

And finally to the local pub….

I spent last weekend in Bristol with my daughter and grandchildren, celebrating Marcel’s sixth birthday. The children adore each other and love the fact that they are cousins…..

The most popular game was finding worms and relocating them to a better part of the garden….

And the climbing frame at the City Farm came a close second…..

I think Granny maybe came a close third or maybe not, probably sixth or seventh……

This is the amazing life I have, I know how blessed I am. I have my darling son and his equally darling wife and sweet Eva living just across the meadow and even though they work terribly hard and have such little time to spare, they still find time for me…..

I could write list after list of my blessings, indeed I do count my blessings, but it’s as if my heart is closed off, empty……

It’s a beautiful sunny day today, yet I want to rant and rave. I want to tell the person that coined the phase “Time will heal”, that it’s a total lie. For me ‘time’ only takes him further away from me. Time – fourteen months today; all time has done for me is made me a better actress. My friends tell me to move on. I’m told to cheer-up as it’s a lovely day, I’m told B had a good life (which he did) that his time had come (which may be true). I’m told to grow a thicker skin. I paste a smile on my face, I crack a stupid joke and I live in a world so alien to me, so, so, unlike the world I lived on the Camino. I’m shocked by people’s rudeness, socked by the motorist who was in such a hurry this morning that he almost knocked me off my bike to get ahead of me. I’m hurt by people who expect me to be over ‘it’, people that make up rumours about me, including one rumour that I am man-hunting!

A friend has died, another friend is dying, and around me the world spins on seemingly indifferent to the troubles and the pain of others……

I wish you all courage and hope, peace and confidence……

Love Susan x

This entry was posted in Art, bereavement, children, churches, confidence, Country Life, courage, daughter-in-laws, death, Dogs, Farming, HOPE, joy, peace, The Camino de Compostela, walking and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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